Reality Check.

If any of you think you've got it rough right now in your life, or that good things don't seem to be happening to you right now, I want you to get over it after reading this story. I have SO much to be thankful for. My life is WONDERFUL.

Today David and I had to go to Maxwell AFB to set up our move for the week after next. You know me, I have to talk to everyone I meet and get on a personal level with them and find out all about their spouses, families, past lives, etc. I am ridiculed about this all the time, but I can't help myself. I like to know about people, even strangers, I come in contact with. Everybody has a story, y'know? I was chatting with the Airman helping us while David was filling out paperwork. I was asking pretty general questions, where are you from? where was your last base? etc, etc. He's politely answering all my questions, all the while calling me "m'am", (and that is going to take some getting used too), then he drops this bomb on me: He told me how the last 30 days have been really rough for him. About a month ago, his wife was killed in a car accident. They have a two year old daughter and a now 7 week old son that was 3 weeks old when his wife was killed. Two weeks later, his best friend was killed (he didn't share how, but used the word "killed"). Last week, he said a cousin died, again not specifying the cause, but used the word "died". Of course my first reaction after realizing the horrificness of the last month for him was to cry. And boy did I CRY. I bawled. Right there in front of him at that desk like an idiot. I mean, I CRIED. Like, all the makeup was gone from my face crying. I thought I was going to have to excuse myself to pull it together. His eyes started tearing up, and I thought, "the last thing this man needs is my tears." So somehow I stopped crying. I told him how sorry I was for everything he has had to deal with, and never have any words sounded more inadequate than those. But it was all I could think to do or say. Even David was teary-eyed, and I cried the entire way to the car and most of the way home. He said his mom is taking care of his kids up in Nashville where he is from until he can figure out what to do from here. He will be stationed at Maxwell for four years, so he said he is going house hunting this week. I just think of how bad it sucks for the house-hunting David and I are doing right now, and we're doing it together. I can't imagine doing it alone. Widowed. Looking for a perfect place for a family when you're missing pretty much the most important person in the family. The plan is to bring his kids, and most likely his mom down here as well, at least until he can get settled with his kids.

I have thought about Airman Moss pretty much all day today. I can't stop thinking about him and his situation. The grief he is dealing with right now is something I have never, ever experienced, and hoped to never experience. He said Monday was his first day back to work since his wife's death. I wanted to tell him to go home and that I would work for him, but I know it is probably good for him to get back into a routine; try to move on with some degree of normalcy in his life, if there will ever be such a thing for him ever again.

It really helped put my current "struggles" into mighty perspective. I'm not downplaying anybody's struggles...we all have them and regardless of what they are, if they upset us or frustrate us, then they suck. But I was taught today that somebody else ALWAYS has it worse than you. And I don't know many people that have it worse than Airman Moss right now, and he was at work today. I have a peace now that the craziness of these next weeks with moving and being huge pregnant and finding a place to live, and packing, and sorting, and filling out the gobs of paperwork that go with the Air Force are all just going to work out. We are alive; we are healthy. We have each other. The rest is just details.

Please, if you pray, pray for Airman Moss tonight and any other time you think of him. Pray for him to be able to manage his grief and to be able to go on and provide for his family emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Pray that he will find mighty blessings in the midst of all the tragedy he has dealt with in the last month. And I will pray that he will eventually find another companion to share his life and his children's life with. He was still wearing his wedding band today, which touched me. As I was sobbing on the way home about him, I asked David what he would do if that were to happen to me. I told him that if I were to die like that, that I would want him to remarry so my children would have a mother, though the thought of him being married to anyone else makes my stomach turn, like bad. But kids need a mom, and if for some reason I were to be taken from this earth, I'd want my kids to have someone to love them and raise them the way I would. David told me that he would probably never remarry because he said he'd probably never take his wedding band off if something like that happened, so no one would know he was available. So that just made me cry more. How I hope that that is never a trial in my life I have to deal with, but that's the thing about trials...most of them you just can't pick.

Never have I wanted to share with someone more my knowledge about Heavenly Father's plan for eternal families than I wanted to share it with Airman Moss today. I am going to find a way to share that message with him. I'm not sure how yet, but he has to know, if he doesn't already, that his wife's death was not the end of the family unit, or of their family relationships. This mortal life is a tiny, but very essential, blip on the radar of God's plan for our eternity. And that eternity includes our families. I will find a way to share that with him.

Now, go kiss your husbands, wives, and your babies.

'Cause everybody loves free stuff!

My friend, Amy, posted this freebie on her blog, and it's just too good not to share. You can get 50 free photo cards for Christmas, PLUS FREE SHIPPING, using the promo code on this website. Amy's done it, I've done it, and it is truly FREE. No dollars involved. The code is good until November 30, so go on and get yours!! I send upwards of 125 Christmas cards every year (yes, you read that right!), but at least 50 of them were FREE! Yippee!

Back up and punt.

So plans have changed for us. I hope I can get used to all this craziness. It's not good for Type A planning personalities like me. We are leaving Alabama on December 3. David reports to work December 7 at our base in New Mexico. Packers and movers are coming November 30. So I WILL be having our baby in New Mexico.

The good news is that since David doesn't have to be back here in Montgomery for JAG school until February 16, the kids and I will come with him, and we will be in Alabama close to him for the duration of his nine week JAG school. That means no major separations for us, and he won't miss out on the first month of little girl's life. So we'll have nine weeks in Alabama to visit with everybody, and for us to introduce new baby girl to the world. We will bless at church here. New baby girl should be about a month old, if not older, by the time we leave to come back here, and while if she were six weeks old, that would be a little more ideal for me, I'll take a month old and pray for the best through the 13 hour drive to Montgomery. We have friends and family in Dallas, which is halfway, so we can stop and get a reprieve there. And we'll all get to travel together, which will be good.

So much for enjoying the holidays!! We will do Thanksgiving here in the midst of packing and sorting, then will leave shortly thereafter. Welcome to life in the military!

Christmas Card Spoiler

Got our family pictures made yesterday before my belly gets any huger. Ugh. I wonder how in the world it can POSSIBLY get any bigger before I have her, but I know it will. Small price to pay for a miracle, though, for sure.

Need some suggestions for our family Christmas picture with the four of us. Leave me a comment?

A Thousand Miles From Nowhere.

So we got our assignment with the Air Force today (I know, miracle of all miracles). Actually, we got our choice of assignments with the Air Force today, which surprised me a bit. They're letting us choose where to call home for the next 2-3 years, which seems very unmilitary-like to me. Unfortunately for us, neither of our "choices" was one of the SIXTEEN preferences we filled out our our handy little preference sheet a month or so ago. (Another classic example of wasted government paperwork! :) Regardless, I was happy to at least have a choice. And I never expected us to get one of our preferences, so at least I'm not disappointed!

We got to choose between Cannon AFB in Clovis, New Mexico or Minot AFB in Minot, North Dakota. (I knew all those cracks about Minot were going to bite me in the rear. And they DID.)

Of course, we chose Cannon in New Mexico. Ever heard of Clovis, NM? Yeah, me neither. BUT, and this is a big but - we're still excited. I decided before we got our assignment, that no matter where we got stationed, that I was going to be happy and have a good attitude going into it. I am going to make it home, and I am going to love it, and make good memories for my family and me, and I am serious about that. Life is what you make it. I'm determined to make mine a happy one, no matter where I am, and to plant roots wherever I land. I just think that's the way it should be. There is good to be found EVERY place.

The only thing is, well, Clovis is kind of in the middle of nowhere. See for yourself:
It is nearly 2 hours to Lubbock, TX, 3 1/2 hours to Albuquerque, 2 hours to Amarillo, TX, 3 1/2 hours to Santa Fe, NM....you get the idea. For those of you who will just be dying to come visit us, Lubbock is probably going to be the closest International airport. Don't everybody try and come visit all at once now, okay??

I did see where Clovis (population 32,352, by the way) does have a Super Wal-Mart, a Hobby Lobby, and their mall has a JC Penny's, Sears and Dillards. I was very relieved about that. My friend Emily's husband is a pilot in the Navy. They are currently stationed somewhere out in the desert of California. The closest Target to her is TWO hours away down a bad two lane road. You will not hear any complaining from me here about Clovis, New Mexico. :)

If we get the base housing we want, it will actually be off-base in a little community about 25 minutes from the base (I know, base housing off base?) in a town called Portales (population 12,215). We will be eligible for a 4 bedroom house with our three kids, and they look like this: It has green grass, trees, and a garage. That makes me happy. We're given a pretty generous housing allowance in that area, so we're considering looking at non-base housing rentals as well. From the looking I've done, there are ALOT of really pretty brand new homes for sale in the area with all kinds of fancy things like granite countertops and whirlpool tubs and four car garages that aren't selling. I'm sure they would love for a military family to take over the payment for a few years for them. But the base housing looks more than accomodating, so I'm thinking we can't lose in the housing department. No matter what, I'll have room for my nine 32-gallon tubs of Christmas decorations, my cookbook collection, and every piece of everything I own in the Pampered Chef catalog. And I am relieved about that.

The weather looks really comparable to where we live here in Alabama, actually. Cold winters, but no snow (it's a rare, rare occurence), mild falls, hot summers. And did I mention that there is green grass and trees? No rock pits for front yards for us!

There is a little state park close by
and here is the entrance to the base.

Depending on where we live, we will either be attending the Clovis Ward or the Portales Ward, and church services don't start at either place until 10am, which I'm totally stoked about. Lubbock is our closest temple, and coming in at just under two hours away isn't much further than what we have to travel here to go to Birmingham. I'm excited about meeting our new church family, knowing that many of the members there are going to be military families just like us. Between that and the Officers Wives Club (or I think to make it more P.C. now they call it the Officers Spouses Club), I'm thinking I'll be able to find some friends.

The base has the typical base amenities that will make my life easier: a free state of the art fitness facility, a library with story-time, a commisary (hello tax-free food), a BX, a Burger King..you know, all the essentials. :) I'm sure I'll find things to do in the community and at Ethan's school, so I don't intend to sit around and feel sorry for myself that I'm hours from the nearest big city.

The cut off for the school Ethan will be zoned for for Kindergarteners is Sept 1, which means Ethan may not be able to start Kindergarten in the fall like we had hoped he could because his birthday is six little days later on Sept 7. For those of you that know Ethan, you know he NEEDS to be in school this coming year. Part of the selfish mommy in me would love him at home with me another year, but the other part knows he is so ready for school and that it's time. If they won't let him start, hopefully we can find a good pre-K program, or we'll have to look into private schools in the area with a more lenient age policy, but that kid has got start school this fall and that is just that.

So, now here is where we get into the complicated stuff, and I warn you, it's going to be hard to follow, so read closely.

We thought we would be moved the end of November. Not so. Apparently, David was misinformed (the first of many pieces of misinformation, I'm afraid!) and he will not go on active duty until one month before he starts JAG school. The JAG school, of all the million bases it could be at, is here in Montgomery at Maxwell AFB. He starts JAG school here at Maxwell on February 16. That means he will report to our base in New Mexio on January 16. Anybody remember the due date of our baby, anyone, anyone? That's right; January 15. One day before. That means our baby will be born here in Montgomery. As you can imagine, my mother is elated.

So, here are our options as far as birthing this baby go. I can see if my doctor will induce me one week early like my doctor did with Sara Katherine, and this baby will be born around January 8 if she hasn't shown up before then. Ethan was just over two weeks early on his own, so it's not impossible that she could be here by then, if not before. After planning Sara Katherine's induction so she could be born before David's spring break, I swore I would never induce for convienence sake again. But, when you're met squarely with the reality that your husband may not be here for the birth of your child, your thinking kind of changes a little.

See, thing is, I like natural childbirth. Well, 'like' may not be quite the word I'm looking for, but I try for natural childbirths, and pitocin, the induction drug, makes it even more painful than nature's natural childbirth, if you can ever believe that, with stronger, more frequent contractions. I have no idea what it's like to have a baby without pitocin. My water broke with Ethan in the middle of the night, and I laid there forever without any contractions or progression, so the doctor started me on a pitocin drip at 7am. 5 1/2 hours later, Ethan was with us, and I was able to deliver him without an epidural or pain meds, even on the pitocin. My planned induction with Sara Katherine automatically meant I had to have a pitocin drip, and luckily, she didn't dilly dally around and my hard labor with her was about the same amount of total labor with Ethan, 5 1/2 hours, and I was able to deliver her without an epidural or pain meds as well, but it was harder than with Ethan. Probably because I made her come before she was ready. I didn't want to do that again, but I DO NOT want David to miss the birth of any of our babies unless he is deployed in a far-away country. I need him with me, especially through the process of natural childbirth where he is my total calming influence. He is the yin to my yang. I can't imagine giving birth to our children without him there unless I absolutely.have.to. So I am going to begin praying now that Little Miss Priss will cooperate and come a little early so she can meet her daddy and bond for a few days with him before he heads off to New Mexico for a month. And I would really like to know what natural childbirth is like WITHOUT pitocin.

The Air Force told him he could take retroactive leave (meaning he goes in the hole with leave before he even has any), and take four or five days and not report to our base until Jan 20 or 21, but there's no guarantees that she'll be here by then.

So the long and short of it is this:

-David is supposed to report to our base in New Mexico on January 16.
-Our household goods will be shipped out the beginning of January to either be held in storage or to go to our house if we have one already.
-Me, Ethan, Sara Katherine, and new baby sister will be staying here after baby sister's arrival, living with my mom and rocking her entire world, I am sure, until David comes back for JAG school on February 16.
-We think that David is going to have to live on base in the dorms with the other JAG students while he is attending the nine week JAG school, though no one has confirmed that yet. That means the kids and I will continue to live with my mom while he is living in the dorms at Maxwell, and continue to rock her world. I feel like we'll get to see him most any night we want and on weekends, though no one has confirmed that to us yet. JAG school is not like boot camp, thank goodness. He'll be an officer then, so no screaming or push-ups at the whim of someone with an ego-trip. It's classes, classes, and more classes, and probaby some P.T. too.
-This means we'll only be really separated for about a month, from January 16-February 16, and I'll be here surrounded by family and friends, which is much easier for me to swallow than being in New Mexico by myself for 2 plus months with three kids.
-David is done with JAG school the middle of April, and we'll all make the trek to New Mexico together then to start our life there for the next 2-3 years. I should be all healed and ready to tackle unpacking and settling in by then.

So in a way, the pressure is off for now. I can enjoy the holidays, hopefully my wonderful OB will get to deliver our new baby girl, and I can get used to being a mom of three while living with my mom. I'm looking for a pre-school to enroll Ethan in in January in Prattville. Poor kid asks me everyday if he can start school yet. And a Mom's-Day-Out Program for Sara Katherine probably wouldn't hurt.

We're going to stay in the house we're in here in Wetumpka until the end of December/beginning of January when they come get all our stuff, so that's exciting. This house has three fireplaces, so we're excited to use them now that it's getting colder.

So there ya have it. If you have some question I somehow DIDN'T answer in this post, leave me a comment or send me an email. But for now, it's very, very late. For those of you who know me and my Type-A personality, you know I have already spent hours on the Internet learning everything there is to know about the place we will call home. It's going to be an adventure. I'm ready for it.

Go to this website:

http://www.myrecipes.com/recipes/static/sweeps/myholiday/main.html?iid=giveaway-rememail-2009

to enter to win $25,000 worth of groceries for a year and sign up for an email where they will mail you a different cookie recipe every day for cookie baking season. Don't know how many cookies I'll be baking this year, but I got the emails last year and they send out good recipes. I'm so excited for Christmas, as crazy as it will probably be this year!

Halloween Happenings

I'm always sad to see Halloween go, but always excited anticipating Thanksgiving and Christmas. Granted, the next 10 1/2 weeks until this baby is due will be filled with CRAZINESS (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, my sister-in-law's wedding, and a major move...yeah, in 10 1/2 weeks), and all of this with a now VERY pregnant belly and limited amounts of long-term energy. But I'll plug on through and try to make the holidays as normal and memorable as possible, depsite the craziness. Stay tuned...we will find out where we'll be moving this week!
Playdate with the McEwen kids (well, McEwen kiD, Scott, seeing as how Davis is only six months old!) Painting pumpkins and baking Halloween sugar cookies!Pumpkin carving. Sara Katherine proudly showing you that she is NOT scared of Pumpkin guts. And Ethan showing you he is...seriously, he wouldn't have anything to do with the pumpkin carving, and instead decorated the little pumpkin with stickers. So funny - as prissy as Sara Katherine is, she's the one I'd expect to be scared of pumpkin guts, but she loves them! The finished project. Great job, Pumpkin Master Dave!Trunk or Treat at ChurchEthan went as Darth Vader...Sara Katherine went as Cinderella. I put makeup on her...blush, MASCARA, and lipgloss. She thought she was IT. She knew just what to do when I put that mascara on her too. She stood perfectly still and didn't blink at all. David walked in while I was putting it on her and said, "Well, you've gone and messed up now." Sure enough, the next day while I'm putting on my makeup, she comes up to me and says, "Mommy, I need makeup too!" She really was so cute to watch in the mirror after I put the makeup on her when she had her costume on her. She kept batting her eyelashes and turning around in the full length mirror. I'm in for it with her.Halloween night we went over to my mom's neighborhood to trick or treat because we literally live in the middle of a field. Ethan went as a Power Ranger this night (last year he was red; this year he was blue...I give him a zillion other options for costumes and he still wants to be a power ranger..sigh...) Sara Katherine went as Cinderella again, but this time it was cold enough for her princess cape. She insisted on wearing her "glass" slippers (really uncomfortable looking plastic shoes) to walk the neighborhood in, and made it about three houses before David was carrying her to every other house in the neighborhood.And if you're wondering why these two pictures aren't centered, it was because I was taking them in the dark. I'm surprised I got all three of them in the same shot. Okay, that's it for Halloween! Bring on Thanksgiving!